Psychology (especially child psychology) for a long time studies human being as a creature, filled with biological needs; moreover, this creature is functioning - doing, perceiving, memorizing, or thinking. And it only implied, that this creature experiences and feels in addition (here are present just descriptions, based exceptionally on processing of a researcher’s own experience). Probably for this very reason, emotions and all everything related to them are called "Cinderella of psychology". We believe that there is no any "before" - human psychological life develops as single multi-functional psychological system. Therefore human beings are able to love and to be loved, as well as to be active.
Love, however, is not "complete" without sexual appeal. L.S. Vygotsky remarkably demonstrated this complex mechanism. A sexual instinct as a need appears at every healthy child at the time individually "allotted" to him/her. Its emergence is a consequence of development of biological systems of organs and changes of bodily biochemistry. But, when having appeared for the first time, this need (biological by nature) is at once included into social systems, existing by that time. The latter does not resist this need (herein both Freud and Rogers were mistaken), but enters into complex cooperation, generating linkage: such dynamic, changeable, contradictory system, where constituents do exist on their own, but at the same time can’t be without each other. Teenagers, speaking in simpler words, in their inner world experience (but not realize!) collisions of reproductive biological demands with experience of human love, which is already enough accumulated by them to that time. This collision and further fusion are the psychological foundation that generates the need and the ability to love and to be loved.
It seems that virtually all great philosophers and psychologists, whatever schools they belonged to, all together encounter one fundamental problem: the sense of human life lies within comprehensive existence with Other, that it is in love. And this sense is unachievable in real life because of the opposite, but also absolutely necessary, sense is to become an individual, that means egoism as a necessity. It is the essence of the examined problem. It is being resolved by generations of researchers, but still not decided yet and cannot be decided in those logical systems, which are used at the moment.
Let us «ground» the described problem into specific human psychology and we’ll get concepts of "subjectivity" and "agency". The first one characterizes a human as individuality, his/her unlikeness to others, who has a desire to be him/herself and to be the center of all things, that is egoism. The second concept adds here one tiny, but absolutely necessary desire - that Other, who is alongside, remains an agent too and wanted me to be an agent.
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